Yesterday was kindergarten roundup for Henry. My last boy will be heading to school in the fall. This past week I felt that I was going to be okay with it all. I’d been focusing on all the positives that were ahead, trying to ignore the heavy, tugging feeling at my heart. As we walked up to the school, Henry at my side, I felt him begin to walk slower and quietly grab my hand. That’s all it took. The tugging I’d been trying to ignore all week welled up in my heart and brought tears to my eyes. <Sigh> I looked down at him and smiled through my tears, he smiled back, hugged my arm and we headed into the school.
He was quiet and reserved, so unlike him, I knew he must be nervous. We hung up his coat and found his seat. He sat down to work on his coloring sheet and told me good-bye. I felt the tears welling again and walked out of the room as quickly as I could.
Walking home I remembered a conversation Bret and I had the summer of 2006. Henry was only 5 months old and with 3 kids age 4 and under I was feeling overwhelmed, tired and stressed. I had made some statement about never having time for myself and in response Bret said not to worry, in 5 more years I would have entire days when all the kids were in school. I remember sighing, feeling like 5 years was an eternity.
But here I am.
Five years later I’m taking Henry to kindergarten roundup and not looking forward to the time on my own, not like I thought I would. I know it will get better, that I’ll find plenty to do to fill my days, not being one to sit still for long. I’m just glad I have 5 more months to get used to the idea.
When Henry came home, two hours later, he asked if we could make a snack. I thought it would be fun to make a recipe I’d been playing around with, so I suggested that and he agreed.
Honey Nut Bars
3 cups Cheerios
1/2 cup whole cane sugar
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup peanut butter (creamy or crunchy)
1/2 cup chopped peanuts
In a small saucepan mix together honey and sugar, bring to a boil. Take off heat and add peanut butter and chopped nuts, stir til well combined. Pour over cheerios and mix well. Place in 8×8 dish and allow to cool.
As we worked away at making the bars and then cleaning up Henry shared his morning. I loved hearing about everything he did, how much fun he’d had. When I asked him if he liked it he said, “I did, but for now I still like preschool.” Glad to know he’s not in a hurry.